We all know that we are social animals, and we all fear loneliness. Being left out or not a part of society are scary things that bring us up in the middle of the night.
Hence, we build communities, institutions, and family structures where like-minded people can gel up and grow together. If we understand Maslow’s theory, after our basic needs, we need social recognition as well. Apart from fear we also need someone to share feelings.
We want to reproduce and pass our legacy to the next generation as well. Above all, we have many needs, such as emotional, psychological, and physical.
Hence relationships are most important for any human to stay healthy with family. Our family gives us validation and recognition. And support which helps us to grow and develop.
Let’s look at the Positive Effects of Relationships on Mental Health.
Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence
80% of the people look for validation from family or loved ones. Validation means they should be recognized, acknowledged or accepted by their loved ones. This validation is a silent acceptance without much interference of whatever they do family is there.
They trust a person, and they love and care for the person’s actions and communications. Only this faith will increase Self-esteem. A financially struggling family has a brilliant son. His father always admires him in whatever he does. He always says,” You do, I am there for you.”
These are not mere words for a son but he got his confidence from those words that even though I fail, even though I might not get the expected results my father always stands behind me. This is how it increases self-trust, self-esteem and self-confidence. A wife who trusts her husband without demeaning him increases his self-esteem.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety
The relationship gives sharing feeling the same way as sharing responsibilities. It is not only the responsibility of one person to run the relationship. But it is an equal distribution of responsibilities and care.
When one feels stressed the other one shares half of the responsibility, which reduces the stress level. Support from loved ones helps to deal with anxiety and fear of the future. By sharing only those negative thoughts one can get faith and hope for his endeavour.
For example, both husband and wife are working. And husband wants to initiate his business and the wife takes financial responsibility for a while may increase the bond in the relationship. Which reduces stress as well as anxiety. One can fulfil his dream while the other one grows and develops in their life. So, it gives mutual growth and development to their lives.
Build Resilience
Differences of opinion, accepting someone’s point of view, and empathy are qualities that can be learnt in tough times. One can also learn flexibility in tough situations, especially when one can’t get the expected results.
Becoming mentally flexible is the key point staying calm and accepting certain factors which are not in control. Unfortunately. we entered the Era in which flexibility is a key problem. As one wants a problem-free life, one wants not to have hot discussions, there is an idea that we call always a happy-happy life is becoming a strong belief in the human mindset.
Due to these beliefs relationships are not working. Eventually, each of us blames others but there is hardly any way to resolve the same. Resilience builds a calm personality. Also, one can be steady and cool temperament in tough times. Relationships teach a person to accept other’s limitations and weaknesses. It also helps to understand true self and others as well.
Give Validation to Your Identity
“Who will cry when you die?” This is not just the title of a book. But if you understand it deeply you can find these words very helpful. Every one of us is trying to do something or other things for someone or society. Not everybody is getting a chance to become famous. But if you do good with your spouse and children they will cry. They miss the shelter.
We get validation from our family. Our family identifies us and gives recognition. Just imagine if you are all alone and no one is there to acknowledge your emotions how do you feel? No one is there for you to care and love how scary it is. That is why we fall in love and we give commitments.
You inspire and motivate because you want to do things for your family and your loved ones. They validate you. Because they love you and care for you. And they are the only people who cry when you die. And so relationships give validation to our identity.
Get a Sense of Support and Love
Love is everything. It gives you acceptance and helps you to stay steady in tough times. If you can see everything surrounding you is because of love. Even your existence is proof of love. So nothing is possible without Love in this world.
A relationship is a sense of support and love. Also, relationship helps you to grow your life in terms of material aspects. You want to do a lot for yourself and your family. You want to do more for your loved one and enjoy your life with peace and calm. A relationship is everything to a human being and it affects immensely on mental health.
Negative Effects of Relationship on Mental Health
Increased Insecurities
Love is an unconditional emotion. But is unconditional love possible? As soon as we have entered into relationships we have lots of expectations with each other. We try to boast or dominate the other person because we want to fulfil our expectations.
Every one of us becomes unhappy if the other person is unable to fulfil our desires or meet our expectations. All differences of opinion started which resulted in ugly fights. Which increases the insecurities of both the people in a relationship.
Because they always become anxious about being left out or abandoned by the other. They fear loneliness which often results in people pleasing or dishonesty with self. Insecurities also increased infidelity issues within the partners.
So leaving each other or fear of separation aggravates insecurities in one’s mind. Out of insecurities one is continuously dominant or becomes submissive emotionally. Which resulted in anxiety, depression, stress and overthinking issues.
Questioned on one’s Identity
Relationships strengthen each other’s identity. But in many cases, one feels demeaning as another person may have a superiority complex, envy or jealousy, different upbringing and understanding, different family background, financial and lifestyle differences, different likings and dislikes etc.
In such cases, one is not ready to accept the other one or try to dominate to accept one’s choice. This is an individual perspective to adapt to the change or not. The other one may feel the partner is demeaning or putting down in terms of his values.
Due to that to accommodate one has to change the persona to adjust in the relationships. But in many cases that change creates a vacuum. This vacuum creates lots of questions about self-identity, personality and confidence.
If the nature of the person is submissive or has the belief of people’s perceptions they adapt the idea to live as per other’s expectations. Which increases more stress in relationship.
Increased Stress and Worries
Daily conflicts in relationships cause lots of stress and worries. It builds us worries about losing loved one, leaving by someone, demeaning and changing of identity. When a relationship works inappropriately that time stress is a common feeling one can feel.
Which increases anxiety of what next. The relationship builds a man strong but simultaneously vulnerable also. Because it affects core emotions.
To prove oneself is becoming part of life and one gets tired of doing so. Positive stress always give growth and motivation but negative stress always gives worries, overthinking and fear. When relationship does not turn to good bond between two people it creates havoc.
It hampered intimacy and Bond
People who have failed relationships or marriages have trust issues. As they don’t want to face the same situation again. Due to that having intimacy with other human beings is tough for them. Their defence mechanism is more aggressive.
They become aggressive in saving themselves rather than building a bond. People with tough relationship issues have a hard time with interpersonal relationships. They trust themselves less and they always feel under confident.
Trust and bonds always make a person feel free from inside and the freedom to choose self over others makes a person more confident.
Raised Self-Doubts
Validation and recognition both are the most important part of any human being’s life. When relationships create daily conflicts and if one loses self in it then self-doubts become stronger. In couples feeling each other down or demeaning raised self-doubts.
Self-doubt is an extremely negative feeling with self-negative talk. As much as a person loses himself in negative self-talk a person may feel depressed and anxious which also invites other mental health problems.
How various Therapies help in Relationship
Couple Counselling
Couple counselling helps a lot to build intrapersonal relationships. It also works on interpersonal relationships as well. In couple counselling, couples learns about communication, their limitations, weaknesses and qualities.
Counselling sessions help to draw clear picture of weak area of relationship. Working on that weak area helps to boost up both couple to enjoy each other’s company. Couple therapy helps to build intimate relationship by trying to see how to accommodate with each other.
Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotions need to be understood by each partner in a relationship. Emotional focused therapy helps to learn about empathy, active listening, and becoming more judgemental and clear in communication. It also helps to understand each other’s emotions and judgements. It clears judgments and makes relationship more strong.
Imago Relationship Therapy
Heal the past wounds are more important in relationships. Unsolved problems cause more problem in present life as beliefs of each partner has not yet change. Assumptions also create a lots of problem in relationships which can be cured by this therapy.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT)
Cognitive means how you interpret, analyse and understand any given information. In relationship manytimes there is problem of interpretation. Which is being identified by a person by putting labels on self or thers. CBT works so well in relationships as it works on the confirmation biases and negative biases in relationships.
Family Therapy
Social structure also matters when it comes to relationships. Family plays a very important role because each family has their own values, customs and rituals to follow. Many couples are facing major relationship issues due to family structure.
Family therapy helps to understand each other’s expectations, limitations and desires. It improves interpersonal relationships which helps to build a strong bond.
Discernment Counselling
These counselling sessions are for couples who are at the edge of divorce or separation. This counselling is more specific towards the problems and resolution of that. Couples gain more clarity about the requirements of the relationships if they want to run the relationships.
Attachment Therapy
Couples understand more about their attachments towards the other proportions of their life. They learn to adapt and accommodate with that which grows the relationship stronger. Relationships play a major role in everyone’s life. It strengthens also and makes oneself vulnerable as well. For more details about relationship counselling or marriage counselling contact us.
