Hey parents, as you read this, you’re probably looking for solutions or ways to enhance your knowledge. Being a parent is not easy. Also, raising kids in this era is a time-consuming and energy-draining task. You probably thought my childhood was much more sorted than my kids’.
My parents were luckier than we are. Think about why you feel so? Because you are parents scattered in many places. You are working professionals; you might have responsibilities for older parents, face financial or health issues, and be overwhelmed with many things.
Hence, I am writing these tips for you. Because it may help you to overcome your worries and insecurities, let’s begin.
Make a list of Insecurities
The most important thing you can do as parents is to make a list of insecurities. Something happens to human beings when they become parents. They all of a sudden become so insecure about kids. They start imagining the worries and fears that will not happen. But they want to protect their kids from almost every kind of issue and challenge.
But when they become dominant parents, they don’t know. Parents should save their kids from all sorts of uncertainties. You are right, but does this stop kids’ growth? Your imagination of dreads probably makes you the worst parents, but you can’t even realise it. First, make a list of your insecurities.
Comparisons
Comparing yourself to others, or your kids to someone else, ruins your peace of mind. Because you are expecting your kids to be like that, or you are expecting yourself to become the best like someone else. So, how will you stop comparing? Try asking yourself what you do and what you will get if you compare.
Is the comparison correct? Even though it is right to think about what if I can compare it only with myself. Try to become the parent you can be, accepting the limitations you have and your kids’. Just don’t push abruptly, but understand the reality as much as possible.
Sharing Expectations
List your expectations for your kids. Before you share, check it with your insecurities, because most of the decisions we take are based on the fear of the insecurities and uncertainties we have. We never think without fear or insecurity.
For example, you expect your kids to wake up early because you think they will fail. What is the connection between failing and waking up early? Also, compare his relaxation time with your expectations for an early wake-up. So that is how you can make realistic expectations for your kids.
Listen and be Empathetic
It is hard to listen to someone, especially when there is a difference of opinion. Because you only get to listen to your expectations in your head, you are most of the time non-attentive, or you are too busy to make your kid understand your point of view.
But if you listen without judgment, your kid feels that my parents really heard me. Also, be empathetic and think about how your kids will feel at this moment. Once you do this, your chattering mind comes to a state of peace, and you may change the situation.
Giver and Taker
Many parents are becoming takers for their kids. Because they feel they have the right to ask for or expect from their kids. Of course, very few parents are like this. But there are. If your kids feel that my parents are only happy when things are done their way, there are significant discrepancies in your upbringing. You may intentionally or unintentionally overpower your kid.
You feel like now your kids need to give you back what you have done for them. So, understand that your giver and taker personality lies in you. Parenting is a responsible thing, but it is also beautiful, as it teaches us to deal with one human being, which is a gift to society.
