Hence, we build communities, institutions, and family structures where like-minded people can gel up and grow together. If we understand Maslow’s theory, after our basic needs, we need social recognition as well. Apart from fear we also need someone to share feelings.

We want to reproduce and pass our legacy to the next generation as well. Above all, we have many needs, such as emotional, psychological, and physical.

Hence relationships are most important for any human to stay healthy with family. Our family gives us validation and recognition. And support which helps us to grow and develop.

Let’s look at the Positive Effects of Relationships on Mental Health.

Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence

80% of the people look for validation from family or loved ones. Validation means they should be recognized, acknowledged or accepted by their loved ones. This validation is a silent acceptance without much interference of whatever they do family is there.

They trust a person, and they love and care for the person’s actions and communications. Only this faith will increase Self-esteem. A financially struggling family has a brilliant son. His father always admires him in whatever he does. He always says,” You do, I am there for you.”

These are not mere words for a son but he got his confidence from those words that even though I fail, even though I might not get the expected results my father always stands behind me. This is how it increases self-trust, self-esteem and self-confidence. A wife who trusts her husband without demeaning him increases his self-esteem.

Reduced Stress and Anxiety

The relationship gives sharing feeling the same way as sharing responsibilities. It is not only the responsibility of one person to run the relationship. But it is an equal distribution of responsibilities and care.

When one feels stressed the other one shares half of the responsibility, which reduces the stress level. Support from loved ones helps to deal with anxiety and fear of the future. By sharing only those negative thoughts one can get faith and hope for his endeavour.

For example, both husband and wife are working. And husband wants to initiate his business and the wife takes financial responsibility for a while may increase the bond in the relationship. Which reduces stress as well as anxiety. One can fulfil his dream while the other one grows and develops in their life. So, it gives mutual growth and development to their lives.

Build Resilience

Differences of opinion, accepting someone’s point of view, and empathy are qualities that can be learnt in tough times. One can also learn flexibility in tough situations, especially when one can’t get the expected results.

Becoming mentally flexible is the key point staying calm and accepting certain factors which are not in control. Unfortunately. we entered the Era in which flexibility is a key problem. As one wants a problem-free life, one wants not to have hot discussions, there is an idea that we call always a happy-happy life is becoming a strong belief in the human mindset.

Due to these beliefs relationships are not working. Eventually, each of us blames others but there is hardly any way to resolve the same. Resilience builds a calm personality. Also, one can be steady and cool temperament in tough times. Relationships teach a person to accept other’s limitations and weaknesses. It also helps to understand true self and others as well.

Give Validation to Your Identity

“Who will cry when you die?” This is not just the title of a book. But if you understand it deeply you can find these words very helpful. Every one of us is trying to do something or other things for someone or society. Not everybody is getting a chance to become famous. But if you do good with your spouse and children they will cry. They miss the shelter.

We get validation from our family. Our family identifies us and gives recognition. Just imagine if you are all alone and no one is there to acknowledge your emotions how do you feel? No one is there for you to care and love how scary it is. That is why we fall in love and we give commitments.

You inspire and motivate because you want to do things for your family and your loved ones. They validate you. Because they love you and care for you. And they are the only people who cry when you die. And so relationships give validation to our identity.

Get a Sense of Support and Love

Love is everything. It gives you acceptance and helps you to stay steady in tough times. If you can see everything surrounding you is because of love. Even your existence is proof of love. So nothing is possible without Love in this world.

A relationship is a sense of support and love. Also, relationship helps you to grow your life in terms of material aspects. You want to do a lot for yourself and your family. You want to do more for your loved one and enjoy your life with peace and calm. A relationship is everything to a human being and it affects immensely on mental health.

Negative Effects of Relationship on Mental Health

Increased Insecurities

Love is an unconditional emotion. But is unconditional love possible? As soon as we have entered into relationships we have lots of expectations with each other. We try to boast or dominate the other person because we want to fulfil our expectations.

Every one of us becomes unhappy if the other person is unable to fulfil our desires or meet our expectations. All differences of opinion started which resulted in ugly fights. Which increases the insecurities of both the people in a relationship.

Because they always become anxious about being left out or abandoned by the other. They fear loneliness which often results in people pleasing or dishonesty with self. Insecurities also increased infidelity issues within the partners.

So leaving each other or fear of separation aggravates insecurities in one’s mind. Out of insecurities one is continuously dominant or becomes submissive emotionally. Which resulted in anxiety, depression, stress and overthinking issues.

Questioned on one’s Identity

Relationships strengthen each other’s identity. But in many cases, one feels demeaning as another person may have a superiority complex, envy or jealousy, different upbringing and understanding, different family background, financial and lifestyle differences, different likings and dislikes etc.

In such cases, one is not ready to accept the other one or try to dominate to accept one’s choice. This is an individual perspective to adapt to the change or not. The other one may feel the partner is demeaning or putting down in terms of his values.

Due to that to accommodate one has to change the persona to adjust in the relationships. But in many cases that change creates a vacuum. This vacuum creates lots of questions about self-identity, personality and confidence.

If the nature of the person is submissive or has the belief of people’s perceptions they adapt the idea to live as per other’s expectations. Which increases more stress in relationship.

Increased Stress and Worries

Daily conflicts in relationships cause lots of stress and worries. It builds us worries about losing loved one, leaving by someone, demeaning and changing of identity. When a relationship works inappropriately that time stress is a common feeling one can feel.

Which increases anxiety of what next. The relationship builds a man strong but simultaneously vulnerable also. Because it affects core emotions.

To prove oneself is becoming part of life and one gets tired of doing so. Positive stress always give growth and motivation but negative stress always gives worries, overthinking and fear. When relationship does not turn to good bond between two people it creates havoc.

It hampered intimacy and Bond

People who have failed relationships or marriages have trust issues. As they don’t want to face the same situation again. Due to that having intimacy with other human beings is tough for them. Their defence mechanism is more aggressive.

They become aggressive in saving themselves rather than building a bond. People with tough relationship issues have a hard time with interpersonal relationships. They trust themselves less and they always feel under confident.

Trust and bonds always make a person feel free from inside and the freedom to choose self over others makes a person more confident.

Raised Self-Doubts

Validation and recognition both are the most important part of any human being’s life. When relationships create daily conflicts and if one loses self in it then self-doubts become stronger. In couples feeling each other down or demeaning raised self-doubts.

Self-doubt is an extremely negative feeling with self-negative talk. As much as a person loses himself in negative self-talk a person may feel depressed and anxious which also invites other mental health problems.

How various Therapies help in Relationship

Couple Counselling

Couple counselling helps a lot to build intrapersonal relationships. It also works on interpersonal relationships as well. In couple counselling, couples learns about communication, their limitations, weaknesses and qualities.

Counselling sessions help to draw clear picture of weak area of relationship. Working on that weak area helps to boost up both couple to enjoy each other’s company. Couple therapy helps to build intimate relationship by trying to see how to accommodate with each other.

Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotions need to be understood by each partner in a relationship. Emotional focused therapy helps to learn about empathy, active listening, and becoming more judgemental and clear in communication. It also helps to understand each other’s emotions and judgements. It clears judgments and makes relationship more strong.

Imago Relationship Therapy

Heal the past wounds are more important in relationships. Unsolved problems cause more problem in present life as beliefs of each partner has not yet change. Assumptions also create a lots of problem in relationships which can be cured by this therapy.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT)

Cognitive means how you interpret, analyse and understand any given information. In relationship manytimes there is problem of interpretation. Which is being identified by a person by putting labels on self or thers. CBT works so well in relationships as it works on the confirmation biases and negative biases in relationships.

Family Therapy

Social structure also matters when it comes to relationships. Family plays a very important role because each family has their own values, customs and rituals to follow. Many couples are facing major relationship issues due to family structure.

Family therapy helps to understand each other’s expectations, limitations and desires. It improves interpersonal relationships which helps to build a strong bond.

Discernment Counselling

These counselling sessions are for couples who are at the edge of divorce or separation. This counselling is more specific towards the problems and resolution of that. Couples gain more clarity about the requirements of the relationships if they want to run the relationships.

Attachment Therapy

Couples understand more about their attachments towards the other proportions of their life. They learn to adapt and accommodate with that which grows the relationship stronger. Relationships play a major role in everyone’s life. It strengthens also and makes oneself vulnerable as well. For more details about relationship counselling or marriage counselling contact us.

You might believe in this concept. But does it work well when you are with your partner in conflict? Probably not. That is the most traumatic time for you and your partner. Your relationship starts with love, romance and commitment. But as soon as you enter to committed relationship or marriage then all goes in vain. But why? Nowadays everybody dates their dates and then commits.

But still divorce ratio is very high. Even in arranged marriages also partners are all not solely responsible for their relationship. But still, that also does not work sometimes. Do you know why most couples face relationship conflicts? Let’s understand the same.

Top 5 Reasons for Relationship Conflicts:

Non -Communication:

Most of you know that non-communication or lack of communication in relations raises lots of assumptions and non-clarity. Do you know when you do not communicate well with your partner, your partner judges you based on your behaviours. Most of the time your partner assumes you and your activities. Based on his assumptions she reacts. Because your partner really does not know what is going on? secondly, when you have a lack of communication you also expect much from your partner as if your partner needs to understand you well. But really is it possible.?

If you really do not convey your message very clearly and then you expect something from your partner is it possible to get that? Think about it. Your partner stays in dilemma and assumptions based on past experiences in relations. Then act accordingly. But if you communicate well then? It solves 80% of conflicts. Out of 100 conflicts 80 conflicts arise from assumptions and judgments.

Hide & Seek:

When you hide things from your partner. Basically, you think something when you hide your details, especially from your partner. Because you have either fear of fights, fear of judgements, fear of how will your partner perceive you? But do you know when you are hiding your partner gets vibrations of being cheated or betrayed. Your partner thinks of you as if something you are not sharing because you want to cheat or you do not feel they are good enough for you.

Your hiding or lying about stuff make them more angry, sad or depressive. And as you know all people have their own self-defence mechanism. When they feel something is coming to them for which they are getting pain or suffering they start self-defending. So, what do you think? Make a list of those things which you haven’t openly shared with your partner.

Finances:

Finance is an important factor. Because it runs your life. Many relationship ends because of finance. Either one person is completely absorbed into work. And another is not doing anything. Sometimes it is difficult to meet ends even if both are working. So, discuss your finances. Talk to each other and share some responsibilities. This is one of the major reasons for conflicts in relationships.

Understanding:

Lack of understanding is common not only in relationships but with self as well. When you really do not understand yourself it is difficult to understand someone. Does your partner expect you to understand her more? Then try it. Because lack of understanding causes lots of issues from misjudging to non-communications etc. When you both are opposites in many things then try to apply the rule of 50-50. Just watch my short video on the 50-50 rule.

Responsibilities:

A relationship is not something always a happy-happy romantic life. Of course, family comes with responsibilities. And neither you are responsible nor your partner only accountable. But share responsibilities equally. Household chores, children’s education, responsibilities of other family members etc. When you do not throw all the burden on your partner nor do you take all the burden then things go smoothly. You both think of each other and go along with mature relationships.

You may comment with me if you have any questions related to this topic.

I hope this time you find many similar traits. Even you might also face some other traits which cause lots of conflicts. But How do relationship conflicts affect your mental health? This is really important to understand as our life is divided in Personal, Professional, Physical, emotional and spiritual. And our personal issues directly affect all areas of our life.

When you face relationship conflicts it becomes a major mental health issue. So, let’s understand how your beloved relationships end up in ugly fights. And how do those conflicts convert into mental disorders?

Imposter Syndrom:

Do you when your partner feels imposter? In your relationship when one partner doing well or has good traits then another partner feels a lack of those qualities. However, they have such skills and intellect. But then they feel like they are not enough for their partner. they feel self-negative talks and have self-doubts. Their internal communication goes like,” I do not deserve this person but this by chance I am with him”, “I am lucky that is why I have this person in my life otherwise I am nothing.” etc.

You must observe such conversations while you talk to your partner. Check with your partner why it makes her feel like this. Imposter comes from so many experiences a person had.

Internal Disorder:

When you are in a relationship you generally become overly empathetic or too thoughtful about your partner. When you are thinking about what your partner feels if you are sharing your problem or challenges. You avoid doing so. You start feeling let me handle my problems by myself. And you do not convey your tough time with your partner which causes Internal Disorder issues.

Try to share your problems and challenges. And if possible delegate some responsibilities to solve your problems. Internal Disorder issues convert into depression, sadness, lack of interest and inattentive behaviours.

Overthinking:

Earlier I have mentioned Lack of communication is a major factor which converts into relationship issues. When you do not communicate or when you are hiding things from your partner. Your partner may overthink a lot on various aspects. They overthink so much and feel the stress and pressure to run the relationship. When you do not communicate or communicate very little then there are chances of overthinking a lot.

Anxiety and Panic Disorder:

Do you know which fear your partner currently lives in? Have you checked? Fear of abandonment, fear of being alone, fear of separation and divorce. All these conflicts convert into anxiety. A person overthinks a lot and becomes anxious about the future. Your partner feels the pressure of fights, bullying and hot discussion. Many people are not prone to loud voices, anger and ill words or treatment. When they face such issues in relations they are traumatised and always be into anxiety about what will happen next.

Depression:

All of us are dependent on outside factors. You are happy when something is going well and your mood is low when things are not going well as you have desired. Depression has two types: One is reactive depression and another is Endogeneous Depression. In reactive depression, a person reacts based on the outcome he receives from the outside world. When you face conflicts in your relationship it is obvious that you become sad or unhappy. You overgeneralise all information in all or nothing. Marital conflicts affect mental health as badly as depression.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD):

All fights and traumatic events ultimately leave some scars. It is not a bad incident makes a person sad but thinking of that bad incident gives trauma. Marital conflicts and ugly fights with infidelity issues cause lots of trauma to a partner. As a person always in dilemma what will come next?

If something would not have come right then? Based on past experiences a person feels continuous stress and behaves accordingly to avoid fights and conflicts. Slowly a person becomes emotionally vulnerable and sad which converts into PTSD.

As you understand these conflicts convert into mental health issues you may solve by following the top 5 tips. How to solve relationship conflicts? Hereby sharing with you the top 5 tips to resolve conflicts and make your relationship more strong.

1) Communication:

Speak when your tongue shakes. When you really feel that your communication may create an issue but eventually it strengthens the relationship then speak it out. Speak to your partner rather than assume.

2) Share your Expectations:

Fix one day in a month. Every month in fact. Here you need to share your expectations with your partner and same way accept your partner’s expectations. Once you both know each other expectations you both can work on the same. Even in the case of nonfulfillment of expectation creates healthy communication.

3) Share everything with your partner:

Do not make your partner feel doubt on you. If you behave suspiciously then doubt is inevitable. Share with your partner about all your day, meetings, colleagues, problems, hangouts everything. If shared there is less chance of assumption. And when your partner does not assume you rest assured serenity. Secondly, if your partner judges you based on those things that you share then clarify by having clear communication.

4) Small Vacations:

There is always a time every three months when you go out alone with your partner by leaving all worries and responsibilities. Talk to your partner. Make her feel special again as earlier. This small act of going out alone strengthens your relationship.

5) Therapies:

In Marital conflicts, therapies work best. As it gives insights to those issues where non-acceptance is there. You know more about yourself and same ways your partner. So both of you express with each other without hassle. CBT works best to resolve many issues.

Last but not least, we all need each other as we are social animals. Especially your partner makes you feel special and you are the only one who is everything. Take your relationship as blessing and your partner is a person with whom you are “GROWING TOGETHER AND OLDER TOGETHER.”