Is there something else behind their anger, behaviour and complaints? We all human beings perceive other humans through their behaviours. But in reality, there is much more deep down. Especially kids are very vulnerable towards the emotions they feel. They themselves don’t know what they think and how they react? So, it is the duty of parents to understand how their kids are reacting and what’s behind it.

Reasons why kids are vulnerable to their emotions.

Impulsivity – Emotional Regulation

Kids are impulsive, and hence they throw tantrums. They hardly understand what the consequences of their demands are. Teenage kids have their own understanding towards their needs and requirements. Therefore, even though they know what is right and wrong, positive or negative, they are unable to choose wisely, and most of the time they prioritise pleasure over good things. Children are particularly vulnerable to not understanding their emotions. What do they feel, and how do they think?

Most importantly, why do they feel? Their age is such that they just tried to understand their relationship with the outside world. They even try to fit in certain areas where they really can’t. Along with growing older, they also learn many things about themselves and others. And how they cope with the emotions is most important. Nature and nurture both play a role in making a kid a human being.

Dependency on Parents

Kids are dependent on their parents. Caregivers and other elders. They are not only dependent physically but also emotionally and mentally. Kids are also receptive towards human faces, facial gestures and body language. They judge situations more quickly than adults because they are often helpless and always need support to overcome any problematic situations.

Influence of Caregivers

Your kids are vulnerable to your words. How are you talking to them? What do you think of them? It is like a validation. Parents are the first people in the world to validate a child. And that validation becomes his truth for his lifetime. How you treat your kids decides their personality.

If you are strict and authoritative, with a controlling approach, then your child will become more submissive and sensitive towards others. If you pamper and give them whatever they ask for, it may also create a more dominant and unempathetic personality. So, as parents, you are the first influencers in their lives.

Effect of the outside World

To a certain extent, the outside world influences our mood and mindset. We are all dependent on what is going on in our outside world. So it’s the same with the kids. If you are annoyed or angry, they sense you. If you are happy and loving, they sense you.

In the same way, their relationship with their classmates, friends and school was affected. Currently, not only does the physical environment affect, but information from the outside world also affects them. What they watch, listen to, and consume affects their brains. Currently, they try to fit in and adapt to new things from the outside world. And in this changing world, they are often not able to fit in.

Early Adversity

Early adversities of life, like death or the separation of parents, loss of loved ones or any traumatic situations, alter the emotional regulations of the kids. Their understanding of the self and the world may differ from what they can build without an experience of trauma. In everyday life, adaptation is sometimes hard, but in an adverse situation, it becomes more difficult for a kid to process those emotions. Adverse conditions and traumas also play a crucial role in developing a child’s emotional life.

Lack of coping Mechanisms

As adults, we are more aware of and understand our emotions. But kids are really vulnerable. They hardly understand many things. And when they feel pressured or in stressful situations, they really don’t know how to deal with them.

They don’t know a coping mechanism currently. They also don’t know how to express them appropriately. Hence, in the face of overwhelming emotions, they are vulnerable to struggling with them. And either behave very indifferently or suppress it to forget the same.

Highly Sensitive

Sensitivity plays a significant role in human life. If one is very sensitive, it is bound to happen that they become more vulnerable towards the outside world. They are very empathetic and try to fit in even in challenging situations without expression.

Highly sensitive kids are more susceptible to outside factors. How others treat them, talk to them and even perceive them matters a lot. Even in sensitivity, they are prone to becoming overly observant and overthinkers, ensuring things are done correctly.

Health Issues

Physical or mental health issues are also an essential part of a kid’s life. Maintaining one’s health and fitness is a significant concern if your kids are on medications or suffering from long-term health issues that affect their emotional well-being. So many kids are facing malnutrition, sleeplessness, fatigue and various other forms of illness.

They play a significant role while coping with the demands of life. To cope with school, expectations of others and self, to become something, is becoming difficult with the ill health. In such situations, emotions are disruptive and difficult for them to manage.

5 Signs Your Kid Has Depression

As there are various factors affecting the emotionality of the kids. But there are five significant signs you can understand whether your kid is facing depression or not.

Behavioural Issues

If your kid is sad, not expressive and likes to be isolated always, then it is an alarm. Sometimes kids also express themselves with anger and frustration. If you find that they become angry or behaviourally indifferent, then there is a problem with their emotions. You may also notice mood swings. Sometimes your kid is so happy and sometimes so depressed as if nothing is there to see further. These are significant signs that your kid needs an assessment.

Lack of sleep or Appetite

In depressive disorder, sleep and appetite are affected first. Suppose you can see that your kid is prone to eating more junk food or has an uneven schedule for eating. Not feeling hungry or sleepless means he faces some stress. If all his routines are bumpy and not disciplined, even after you have tried to help your kid, then it may seem like depression.  

Loss of Interest

Kids are generally playful. They love to play and sound hyper as well. Play is the most essential part of their life currently. Your kid is interested in many areas, such as drawing, painting, dancing, art, and music. He might pursue it as well.

But if you find his lack of interest in those that he was interested in earlier is a significant sign of depression when you observe that your kid becomes more silent and is not able to express himself. There is time to seek professional help.

Feeling of Worthlessness

If you observed that your kid is not finding meaning in any activity, or shows the sign that there is no meaning in whether to do it or not. Then be alert, as the worthless feelings are more crucial to deal with. It may be due to his understanding of the validation he gets. Probably, he is not getting what he is expecting, and when there is a lack of appreciation and motivation, it is alarming for parents.

Body Pain

Feeling low in energy and complaining about body pain or stomach pain. Even indigestion or a headache is a sign of depression. The body is a reflection of emotions. It gives lots of cues about mental health and emotional well-being. If any two or three symptoms persistently felt by a child for the past 15 days, it is advisable to seek professional help. Prevention and intervention are always better than a cure. If you would like to dig further or seek counselling, you may contact us.

Here are some of the sights I want you to read before you reach out to any professional. Before I give all details for Child Counselling and Child Guidance I want you to understand how childhood matters most in developing adulthood.

As a psychologist, I am listening to lots of childhood stories. Childhood is the most important part of any human’s development and cultivation of life. As a child psychologist, I also can see the habits and behaviours of children which reflect the parent’s communication and how they brought up a kid. If you are being parent worried about your kid’s future you may be too harsh or over-pampered.

Maybe you do not know how to balance between and that is why you feel is it us who needs counselling, and guidance or if it kid needs that. Today I will help you to answer the questions which raised in your mind. And I hope it may throw some light.

Difference between Child Guidance and Counselling

How do I know whether my kid needs Counselling or Guidance?

Sometimes there is a thin line between counselling and Guidance. But frankly, if you can understand the deep need to solve an issue or problems your kid is facing you will be in a position to take a call for Counselling and Guidance. As mentioned above difference with the utter most transparently still you look for symptoms where you need to approach for a Counselling session and when for Guidance.

5 major signs where you may need to seek help for Counselling:

Behavioural Change:

If you can observe your kid behave very differently. There is a sudden change in his tone, communication, bullying, being lied and also hiding things in fear of being caught or feeling inferior. If you can see that your kid does not agree with things at first but becomes negative then it takes too much time to convince him. You need to immediately seek the help of a Child Psychologist.

Change in Interests and habits:

Teenage is crucial to handle by any kid or even by parents. At this age, your child may not be able to match with the younger age people or with the elder age people. They feel like they are the only ones who face such issues. They also can’t accept body changes.

Especially facial and body changes are hard to accept. They have questions like why am I having this? Because of their sudden change, they may shift from one interest to another interest level. Their habits have changed and it is unusual for them to accommodate with the growing age. You can take the help of a Psychologist.

Isolated self:

Social anxiety in teenagers is common. Especially kids are studying in 10th or 12th grade. Generally, people used to ask about his performance, grades and future planning in social gatherings. Many kids avoid such situations as they are not sure most of the time and they do not want to face such situations.

They also get comments on their physics and people may judge your kid based on his grades or his performance. Which may or may not be accepted.

Hence, your kid may prefer to isolate. And want to be within. If there is such an observation you may have and find there are some issues in communicating with others seek professional help. One or two sessions with a professional person may change your perspective and perception of your kid.

Body Dysmorphia:

It is a kind of OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here your kid is continuously worried about his or her appearance. look into the mirror or take selfies to see how he or she looks. Continuously making a hair or always conscious about others’ opinions of looks.

Another opinion matters a lot and if they negatively comment on one appearance then they feel sudden sadness, frustration and irritation. Spending more time getting ready or in the shower is a common symptom found in teenagers. Taking a Counselling session is advisable rather than going for guidance.

Excessive Emotional Issues:

If your child is excessively complaining or sad continuously you need to take serious action to talk to someone. If your kid is feeling stressed and anxious about small matters. Anxious at the time of exams or in some school functions or so take note of that. Emotional changes in teenagers are very common. But certain repeated behaviours and beliefs you need to observe and if you are confused you may take a professional help with the assessments.

Of course, there are very many differences between Guidance and Counselling. But both help a lot depending on the demand. Your kid is your future asset. And as a parent your first duty and responsibility is to make his life. Cultivate, nurture and grow your kid emotionally strong.

If you are feeling this symptoms in your child, you can simply book your session for online/offline counselling.