And we connect in fractions of a second. But can we foresee our future? Can we see how our psychology is affected by watching Reels, sticking to the white screen, and always being eager to know what is new? The Internet has also improved our lives.

And these blessings are now becoming a cure for all humanity, especially the next generation. Let’s understand that today, the high usage of the Internet creates Anxiety and Depression.

Why is high internet usage responsible for Anxiety?

Before we dig into the concept of Internet use and its relationship with Anxiety, let’s self-assess first.

Rate the questions below on a scale of 0 to 5 and understand where you are.

1. How many times are you busy scrolling and postponing your important work or studies?
2. How many times have you been worried that you need to communicate in social gatherings?
3. How many times do you find yourself imagining Internet stuff when you’re offline?
4. How many times are you lying or hiding your internet usage from others?
5. How many times are you comfortable in communication with a virtual friend but afraid of a physical friend?
6. How many times are you distracted from your important job by watching something online?
7. Do you lose your sleep while you are online?
8. How many times are you unaware of your time while binge-watching on the Internet?
9. How many times do you avoid going out with your loved one because you want to use the Internet?
10. How many times have you been frightened by the thought of life without the Internet?

If you score between 40 and 50, you have high Internet usage. Less than 40 and above 30 moderate, and between 20 and 30 moderate to mild.  

Circle of Internet Usage and Anxiety

The cycle below is very useful to understand why High Internet usage increases our Anxiety and leads to Depression.

Productive Time with Internet Usage

The Internet is accessible to everyone, everywhere, with no restrictions on time or place. Exceptional to the rules made by some organisations and institutes. Internet usage during work or studies kills time but makes one less attentive to tasks. More engrossed in the completion of work, not the productivity of the work. Being more engaged in completion than in productivity leads to low-quality work. When someone chooses not to use the Internet at work, it feels like such a sacrifice, and they expect more results from the tasks they did. When shallow productivity expects deep results, people become more anxious as they overthink doing more than is required, even though the desired results are impossible. These distorting thoughts distance one from productivity, leading to excessive Internet use.

Lack of Attention Span

Productivity is achieved through persistent, consistent work. Doing the same tasks over and over, you become a master. But when attention is focused on completing tasks and achieving high results, attention to detail suffers. Because all focus is on results, not on actions. When actions are shallow, results are also shallow. When you do tasks as required, you can’t become an expert, as the basics aren’t clear. This leads to a lack of attention at work and a feeling of low confidence, Anxiety about fears and results, which results in overthinking.

Rush to meet the deadline.

Postponement is commonly researched among high Internet users. They are more into virtual connections and entertaining themselves, seeking new information, but which is of no use, and are anxious about what is next. These are thoughts commonly found among users as their impulsivity increases, leading them to seek pleasure and avoid productive tasks. Now, when someone wants to meet a deadline, it is the only task. They believe in meeting the date, not the qualitative work. Rushing to meet the deadline only feeds more Anxiety about missing it.

Self-Negative Reflection.

When one is unproductive and unable to perform as one should, one feels empty about oneself. They frequently meet failures, miss their promises, and regularly miss deadlines; they feel like failures. On top of that, more hitting points when family and mentors share negative feedback about non-productivity and lack of effort, added to self-negative reflections. Reflections are correct, but increase more overthinking and Anxiety. It is hard for someone who feels negative about themselves to maintain a routine. Such scenarios can make a person feel depressed or rebellious in their own actions.

Future Prediction

With the lack of routine, one can imagine his life as dark, like an all-or-nothing feeling. Slowly, you found that everything was meaningless and worthless. There is no hope for the future, and you cannot see any future. You predict that, no matter what you do, you won’t achieve the desired results. You will gradually become negative about your productivity, feeling like you’re losing your job or scoring low in your studies. When you reach to the saturation point and believe that the desired results will not be achieved, you choose not to act, which proves your belief is correct. (Negative Conceptual Cycle as per Cognitive Psychology)

Need Distraction

To get rid of negative overthinking and future prediction, you need some distractions. This distraction is nothing but the Internet again. You again chose to go online, watch a binge, and avoid and ignore your core thoughts. You avoid thinking about your actions and completing tasks until it gets worse. This cycle is unbroken and keeps you in this roller coaster, increasing your panic, Anxiety, worries and overthinking, which leads to Depression.

How Counselling help to overcome…

Psychoeducation sessions help to reduce Internet usage, and various other therapies help to navigate this maladaptive behaviour. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helps correct dysfunctional beliefs and thoughts, and rectify behaviours. Interpersonal therapy helps identify what needs to be done and which aspects are dysfunctional. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy helps install new behaviours and achieve positive results.

My parents were luckier than we are. Think about why you feel so? Because you are parents scattered in many places. You are working professionals; you might have responsibilities for older parents, face financial or health issues, and be overwhelmed with many things.

Hence, I am writing these tips for you. Because it may help you to overcome your worries and insecurities, let’s begin.

Make a list of Insecurities

The most important thing you can do as parents is to make a list of insecurities. Something happens to human beings when they become parents. They all of a sudden become so insecure about kids. They start imagining the worries and fears that will not happen. But they want to protect their kids from almost every kind of issue and challenge.

But when they become dominant parents, they don’t know. Parents should save their kids from all sorts of uncertainties. You are right, but does this stop kids’ growth? Your imagination of dreads probably makes you the worst parents, but you can’t even realise it. First, make a list of your insecurities.

Comparisons

Comparing yourself to others, or your kids to someone else, ruins your peace of mind. Because you are expecting your kids to be like that, or you are expecting yourself to become the best like someone else. So, how will you stop comparing? Try asking yourself what you do and what you will get if you compare.

Is the comparison correct? Even though it is right to think about what if I can compare it only with myself. Try to become the parent you can be, accepting the limitations you have and your kids’. Just don’t push abruptly, but understand the reality as much as possible.

Sharing Expectations

List your expectations for your kids. Before you share, check it with your insecurities, because most of the decisions we take are based on the fear of the insecurities and uncertainties we have. We never think without fear or insecurity.

For example, you expect your kids to wake up early because you think they will fail. What is the connection between failing and waking up early? Also, compare his relaxation time with your expectations for an early wake-up. So that is how you can make realistic expectations for your kids.  

Listen and be Empathetic

It is hard to listen to someone, especially when there is a difference of opinion. Because you only get to listen to your expectations in your head, you are most of the time non-attentive, or you are too busy to make your kid understand your point of view.

But if you listen without judgment, your kid feels that my parents really heard me. Also, be empathetic and think about how your kids will feel at this moment. Once you do this, your chattering mind comes to a state of peace, and you may change the situation.

Giver and Taker

Many parents are becoming takers for their kids. Because they feel they have the right to ask for or expect from their kids. Of course, very few parents are like this. But there are. If your kids feel that my parents are only happy when things are done their way, there are significant discrepancies in your upbringing. You may intentionally or unintentionally overpower your kid.

You feel like now your kids need to give you back what you have done for them. So, understand that your giver and taker personality lies in you. Parenting is a responsible thing, but it is also beautiful, as it teaches us to deal with one human being, which is a gift to society.

Cognitive Preconceptions (Biases) About Money

Cognition refers to how you take in, understand, and analyze information. From childhood to adulthood, your environment and upbringing shape your relationship with money. These experiences form biases that affect how you think and act financially — a key part of behavioral finance.

1. Fear of Loss

Most people have a deep fear of losing money rather than joy in earning it. You might have worked hard for your income, sacrificing time and comfort. So, even a small thought like “What if I lose it all?” triggers anxiety. If you’ve never felt genuine joy when receiving your salary, it may be time to explore this money mindset bias — the fear of loss often controls how you save, spend, and invest.

2. Overconfidence About Self

Confidence helps you grow, but overconfidence can harm your financial behavior. Some people overestimate their earning ability and spend excessively on brands, cars, or luxury items without planning for the future. This false sense of security can damage long-term financial stability and distort your wealth mindset.

3. Believing Too Much in Limited Information

Many people invest based on what others are doing. Hearing that a friend profited from stocks or schemes may push you to act impulsively. This short-sighted approach often causes losses and stress. Sound financial psychology suggests double-checking information and focusing on slow, steady, and sustainable growth.

4. Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias means believing what fits your existing thoughts. For instance, you might assume rich people are happier, ignoring facts that say otherwise. Such biases can distort your relationship with money. Becoming aware of them helps you make rational financial decisions based on reality, not perception.

5. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

FOMO is one of the strongest emotions in money psychology. When others seem wealthier or more successful, you may feel anxious or left behind. This emotional trigger often pushes people toward risky financial decisions or overspending just for social validation. Recognizing your FOMO helps you manage your financial mindset more mindfully.

Emotions That Affect Your Financial Life

Your emotions and financial psychology are deeply connected. How you feel often dictates how you save, spend, or invest.

1. Fear and Anxiety

Employees often fear job loss, while business owners fear market uncertainty. These anxieties create mental stress, leading to impulsive financial choices. When your mind is trapped in “fight or flight” mode, it’s hard to make logical decisions. Learning to separate emotion from logic is a vital part of behavioral finance and helps you build a healthier money mindset.

2. Impatience

Impatience fuels the belief that “I should be doing more.” This leads to overthinking, comparing yourself with others, and rushing into poor financial decisions. Instead, give yourself 24 hours before making any big money move. Patience is a sign of a strong financial mindset. And if you struggle to manage impatience, professional counseling can help.

3. Greed and Excitement

Greed often tempts people to chase high-risk, short-term investments. The thrill of quick rewards can cloud judgment and lead to repeated losses. Apps and online platforms make it easy to act on impulse, but wise investors practice emotional control. A balanced wealth mindset means staying grounded even in excitement.

4. Guilt and Shame

Comparing yourself with others can lead to guilt or shame about money. Some people overspend to hide these emotions or ignore their bank balance altogether. Financial counseling can help you process these feelings, rebuild confidence, and regain control over your relationship with money.

How Counselling Helps You Transform Your Money Mindset

Therapy and counselling can reshape your money psychology by helping you understand your beliefs, habits, and emotional triggers. Here’s how:

1. Cognitive Impact

Counselling helps you revisit your biases and challenge negative thoughts. By strengthening both mindset and emotion, you develop greater awareness of how past experiences influence your financial behavior today.

2. Decrease Negativity

A clear mind brings better financial decision-making. Counselling sessions help you identify where negativity stems from – unmet expectations, confusion, or pressure – and replace those patterns with clarity and confidence.

3. Improve Intrapersonal Intelligence

Understanding yourself is the foundation of a healthy money mindset. Counselling enhances your self-awareness and emotional intelligence, helping you make wiser choices that align with your values and goals.

4. Deal With Your Biases

Your financial habits often come from early life experiences and emotional memories. By identifying and addressing these biases, you can shift from self-sabotaging patterns to empowered decision-making – a key aspect of behavioral finance.

5. Understand Your Money Mindset

Your upbringing and family values shape how you view money. Lessons filled with fear or scarcity can create a negative financial mindset. Counselling helps you unlearn those limiting beliefs and develop a more balanced, growth-oriented money mindset.

Final Thoughts

The psychology of money is more than just managing your finances – it’s about understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behavior toward wealth.
When you work on your money mindset, you build not only financial stability but also emotional peace. Through counselling and self-reflection, you can overcome fears, reduce stress, and develop a healthier, more abundant relationship with money.

Is there something else behind their anger, behaviour and complaints? We all human beings perceive other humans through their behaviours. But in reality, there is much more deep down. Especially kids are very vulnerable towards the emotions they feel. They themselves don’t know what they think and how they react? So, it is the duty of parents to understand how their kids are reacting and what’s behind it.

Reasons why kids are vulnerable to their emotions.

Impulsivity – Emotional Regulation

Kids are impulsive, and hence they throw tantrums. They hardly understand what the consequences of their demands are. Teenage kids have their own understanding towards their needs and requirements. Therefore, even though they know what is right and wrong, positive or negative, they are unable to choose wisely, and most of the time they prioritise pleasure over good things. Children are particularly vulnerable to not understanding their emotions. What do they feel, and how do they think?

Most importantly, why do they feel? Their age is such that they just tried to understand their relationship with the outside world. They even try to fit in certain areas where they really can’t. Along with growing older, they also learn many things about themselves and others. And how they cope with the emotions is most important. Nature and nurture both play a role in making a kid a human being.

Dependency on Parents

Kids are dependent on their parents. Caregivers and other elders. They are not only dependent physically but also emotionally and mentally. Kids are also receptive towards human faces, facial gestures and body language. They judge situations more quickly than adults because they are often helpless and always need support to overcome any problematic situations.

Influence of Caregivers

Your kids are vulnerable to your words. How are you talking to them? What do you think of them? It is like a validation. Parents are the first people in the world to validate a child. And that validation becomes his truth for his lifetime. How you treat your kids decides their personality.

If you are strict and authoritative, with a controlling approach, then your child will become more submissive and sensitive towards others. If you pamper and give them whatever they ask for, it may also create a more dominant and unempathetic personality. So, as parents, you are the first influencers in their lives.

Effect of the outside World

To a certain extent, the outside world influences our mood and mindset. We are all dependent on what is going on in our outside world. So it’s the same with the kids. If you are annoyed or angry, they sense you. If you are happy and loving, they sense you.

In the same way, their relationship with their classmates, friends and school was affected. Currently, not only does the physical environment affect, but information from the outside world also affects them. What they watch, listen to, and consume affects their brains. Currently, they try to fit in and adapt to new things from the outside world. And in this changing world, they are often not able to fit in.

Early Adversity

Early adversities of life, like death or the separation of parents, loss of loved ones or any traumatic situations, alter the emotional regulations of the kids. Their understanding of the self and the world may differ from what they can build without an experience of trauma. In everyday life, adaptation is sometimes hard, but in an adverse situation, it becomes more difficult for a kid to process those emotions. Adverse conditions and traumas also play a crucial role in developing a child’s emotional life.

Lack of coping Mechanisms

As adults, we are more aware of and understand our emotions. But kids are really vulnerable. They hardly understand many things. And when they feel pressured or in stressful situations, they really don’t know how to deal with them.

They don’t know a coping mechanism currently. They also don’t know how to express them appropriately. Hence, in the face of overwhelming emotions, they are vulnerable to struggling with them. And either behave very indifferently or suppress it to forget the same.

Highly Sensitive

Sensitivity plays a significant role in human life. If one is very sensitive, it is bound to happen that they become more vulnerable towards the outside world. They are very empathetic and try to fit in even in challenging situations without expression.

Highly sensitive kids are more susceptible to outside factors. How others treat them, talk to them and even perceive them matters a lot. Even in sensitivity, they are prone to becoming overly observant and overthinkers, ensuring things are done correctly.

Health Issues

Physical or mental health issues are also an essential part of a kid’s life. Maintaining one’s health and fitness is a significant concern if your kids are on medications or suffering from long-term health issues that affect their emotional well-being. So many kids are facing malnutrition, sleeplessness, fatigue and various other forms of illness.

They play a significant role while coping with the demands of life. To cope with school, expectations of others and self, to become something, is becoming difficult with the ill health. In such situations, emotions are disruptive and difficult for them to manage.

5 Signs Your Kid Has Depression

As there are various factors affecting the emotionality of the kids. But there are five significant signs you can understand whether your kid is facing depression or not.

Behavioural Issues

If your kid is sad, not expressive and likes to be isolated always, then it is an alarm. Sometimes kids also express themselves with anger and frustration. If you find that they become angry or behaviourally indifferent, then there is a problem with their emotions. You may also notice mood swings. Sometimes your kid is so happy and sometimes so depressed as if nothing is there to see further. These are significant signs that your kid needs an assessment.

Lack of sleep or Appetite

In depressive disorder, sleep and appetite are affected first. Suppose you can see that your kid is prone to eating more junk food or has an uneven schedule for eating. Not feeling hungry or sleepless means he faces some stress. If all his routines are bumpy and not disciplined, even after you have tried to help your kid, then it may seem like depression.  

Loss of Interest

Kids are generally playful. They love to play and sound hyper as well. Play is the most essential part of their life currently. Your kid is interested in many areas, such as drawing, painting, dancing, art, and music. He might pursue it as well.

But if you find his lack of interest in those that he was interested in earlier is a significant sign of depression when you observe that your kid becomes more silent and is not able to express himself. There is time to seek professional help.

Feeling of Worthlessness

If you observed that your kid is not finding meaning in any activity, or shows the sign that there is no meaning in whether to do it or not. Then be alert, as the worthless feelings are more crucial to deal with. It may be due to his understanding of the validation he gets. Probably, he is not getting what he is expecting, and when there is a lack of appreciation and motivation, it is alarming for parents.

Body Pain

Feeling low in energy and complaining about body pain or stomach pain. Even indigestion or a headache is a sign of depression. The body is a reflection of emotions. It gives lots of cues about mental health and emotional well-being. If any two or three symptoms persistently felt by a child for the past 15 days, it is advisable to seek professional help. Prevention and intervention are always better than a cure. If you would like to dig further or seek counselling, you may contact us.

2) WHY am I always overthinking everything?

3) What is Overthinking?

4) How do i stop overthinking?

5) How does counseling help to stop overthinking?

WHAT IS OVERTHINKING?

An endless loop of thoughts where a person can’t stop thinking. Psychologically, a person feels helpless and, rather than preparing for the next step of action, they become stuck in a negative loop of thoughts, which leads them to inaction. Additionally, past failures or traumas can create an auditory or visual thought pattern that is entirely negative. Overthinking is a state of confusion or helplessness where a person feels depressive, anxious and fearful.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR BRAIN

You need to understand overthinking first before taking action. Why do I overthink everything so much? What causes overthinking? The most important thing to realise is that our brain has two key parts, which are the prefrontal cortex and the Limbic System. Both are responsible for the overthinking. If you can understand how your brain functions, your cognition, and your thought patterns, it is easier to overcome Overthinking. But without understanding, you end up with nothing.

A) PREFRONTAL CORTEX

The prefrontal cortex, a key part of the brain, is responsible for analysing situations, decision-making, planning, and self-control. However, when this part of the brain is unable to reach a decision, it can lead to a loss of self-control, resulting in overthinking.

B) LIMBIC SYSTEM

The limbic system, which includes the amygdala, hippocampus, and hypothalamus, is responsible for managing fear and stress. When your mind is overthinking, the amygdala, a part of the limbic system, gives signals of fight or flight, triggering emotional responses.

Why does the HUMAN BRAIN think a LOT?

So, here I am dividing the causes of overthinking into four parts

Psychological Factors:

A. Anxiety and Fear:

People tend to worry excessively about the future and are overly attached to the outcomes, often overthinking a lot. People with a fearful nature tend to worry continuously and become anxious over minor changes, often overthinking excessively.

B. Past Trauma:

Trauma plays a significant role. Because the past haunts many people. As our brain operates on a survival mechanism, it tends to think a lot about the future. Also, as mentioned above, people with post-traumatic stress disorder think much about the future because they do not want to experience pain. Due to the stress of the Trauma, a person tends to overthink a lot.

C. Perfectionism:

Perfection has been highly appreciated for many years now. Many Motivational speakers used to emphasise perfectionism a lot, which became an obsession for many. Due to that, they become imposters and become overly attached to results. When one feels they are perfect in everything, they often do not want to act, as they believe it is never ideal for them. But it turns into overthinking.

D. Low Self-Esteem:

Low Self-Esteem is about trust in one’s skills and qualities. When a person has low self-esteem, they feel like they are not enough, not capable of doing things. Additionally, they tend to engage in self-negative thinking. Low self-esteem always turns into overthinking.

Physical Factors:

A. Brain Chemistry:

Neurotransmitters such as adrenaline, Cortisol, Dopamine, and Serotonin play a crucial role in the overthinking pattern. It is also responsible for the Thought pattern of a human being.

B. Evolutionary Perspective:

The evolutionary perspective is responsible for problem-solving and shaping thought patterns.

Environmental Factors:

A. Social Anxiety:

Acceptance of a human being as they are by society is a crucial aspect in achieving safety and well-being. Apart from basic needs, a relationship with other human beings and society is a must. However, when there is a lot of social uncertainty, overthinking becomes a common phenomenon. The social factor plays a significant role in overthinking because it increases uncertainty in the mind. Social anxiety doubles the trouble of a person.

B. Uncertainty:

Insecurity and uncertainty play a crucial role in the mind. Because when things continuously evolve, the negative aspects create lots of trouble. “What will be the next?” – thought creates more trouble in a person’s mind, as external factors are more volatile and unpredictable.

Cognitive Factors:

A. Negative Thought Pattern

When a person tends to view things negatively and observe all negative stuff first, they have a high tendency to overthink.

B. Difficulty in Problem Solving:

Problem-solving is a skill where a person looks for a solution rather than focusing on the problem. However, many human beings tend to view problems as victimisation. They often overthink, becoming victims and unable to solve the same problems, which perpetuates the cycle of overthinking because they predict the outcome and are unable to take action to resolve them.

C. Control External Factors:

Many humans tend to control external factors in their minds. They expect so much from the others and the outside world. They also want to prevent uncertainty and the unknown, driven by a fear of pain and suffering. And controlling unknown and external factors leads to a lot of overthinking.

HOW DO I STOP OVERTHINKING?

This negative loop of thoughts causes considerable trouble. Until one reaches a level of helplessness and hopelessness. As you have been through the above text, you can understand what overthinking is. In my practice, I have seen many cases where individuals know they overthink, but they are unable to overcome it. Because many feel it is reality, and while others want to control the external and uncertain outcome, they are not ready to accept the situation as it is. However, here are some important points I’d like to share with you to help you stop overthinking.

1) DON’T PROCRASTINATE

Procrastination is a way to prolong the current action mode to the future one. Even though you feel the outcome is not in your favour, act upon it rather than prolong it to the next level. Instead of spending too much time thinking, “What if?” Take action.

2) ASK YOURSELF OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

What am I thinking is correct? Have you ever asked yourself this question? If not, try it. Because when you are asking wise questions yourself, you get the wise answers. Open-ended questions always help you to dig into your fears.

3) CHECK YOUR FACTS

Do you think that things are as bad as your brain portrays? Don’t forget that your brain works on a survival mechanism. Hence, you feel negative first. But when you can check facts and reality, your brain shuts down, and you can think of solutions.

4) DEEP BREATHING AND MEDITATION

Of course, practising mindfulness helps a lot. Being present plays the most important role. When you feel overthinking, you can breathe deeply. Take long and deep inhalations and exhalations to calm your agitated mind. Try to be present as much as you can. But that is only possible when you are in action and not attached to the outcome.

5) PRACTICE WRITING

We are currently embracing technology, so using pen and paper is now considered old-school. But while you overthink, you can write on a piece of paper. This gives you lots of mental clarity, and you can stick to reality rather than hypothetically think about unknown and uncertain things. If you practice the same daily, you may slowly get control of your mind. And it gives you more sources for solutions.

6) DON’T USE DISTRACTION

We all easily distract, especially when we are not feeling well emotionally. Distraction keeps your eye away from the core problem. When you use distraction, you cause more problems because you are not focused. It takes a little longer to come back to the attention state. Distraction never solves problems; rather, it aggravates them.

7) LIST OUT YOUR LIMITATIONS AND SKILLS

When you know your limitations and skills, you are more confident in your ability to deal with situations. For example, if you go to the Gym and try to lift heavy weights on the very first day, you may break your muscles. But as you practice slowly, you start lifting weights. When you acknowledge your limitations, you work on them and gradually make them your strengths, allowing you to stop overthinking.

8) STOP CONTROLLING EXTERNAL FACTORS

When you expect something from someone that is not in your control or try to change something uncertainly, it creates lots of trouble in your mind. You want to change your external factors, but are they really in your control? Again, asking wise and open-ended questions can get answers to many problems.

HOW DOES COUNSELING HELP TO STOP OVERTHINKING?

Counselling and therapies always prove best. Sometimes, you don’t get solutions to problems that are beyond your control. Therapies help you to understand it very clearly. Your cognition will improve, and your interpersonal skills will help you overcome issues related to overthinking. Various therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, can significantly help alleviate overthinking.

Anxiety – Feeling of fear, dread and uneasiness in the absence of an object

Fear – Feeling of fear in the presence of an Object

Many people are confused between Anxiety and OCD. However both have different symptoms, but anxiety may cause OCD and vice versa. Essentially, in both disorders, one is feeling a lot of pressure, and they need to realise this pressure.

Hence, some of the compulsion or behaviour is mandated to do for that person. It looks so simple, but if you can empathise with nearby people who suffer from such symptoms, you might get an idea of how terrible it is. Therefore, you need to understand the difference and how to overcome it.

Understanding the Distinction: OCD vs. Anxiety

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety are often intertwined, yet they represent distinct mental and emotional challenges that require tailored approaches for effective management. Grasping these differences is essential for both sufferers and caregivers alike.

OCD is marked by relentless, intrusive thoughts—known as obsessions—that provoke intense anxiety and compel individuals to engage in repetitive behaviours or rituals (compulsions). These compulsions may provide only temporary relief, creating a cycle that can be incredibly debilitating and time-consuming. There are various types of OCDs,

1. Contamination/Cleaning OCD: One is obsessed with cleaning or contamination and hence experiences a compulsion to clean continuously, such as through hand washing or avoiding places where contamination is likely to occur.
2. Ordering OCD: One has an obsession with doing things in a specific order or with perfection and constantly manages things. They have the compulsion of putting things in order, counting, checking (checking locks), and repetitive actions to achieve the desired results.
3. Harm OCD: One has obsessive thoughts of harming self or others, and hence, it is compulsive to check repetitive alarms or locks or mental rituals to prevent harm to self or others.
4. Storing (Hoarding) OCD: This type of OCD is characterised by an obsession with storing unwanted items, even if they are of no use or have no sentimental value. Compulsive behaviours include storing unnecessary items, being disorganised, and struggling to manage the home effectively.

There are also different types of OCDs, such as religious thought OCD, “Taboo”, or moral OCD, etc.

In contrast, anxiety encompasses a broader spectrum of emotional responses, including general worry, fear, and apprehension about future occurrences. While anxiety can certainly manifest within the context of OCD, it also exists independently in various forms, such as generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder. There are multiple types of anxiety as well:

1. Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Generalised anxiety about the future or various parts of life. Which affects daily life.
2. Panic Disorder: Sudden and intense fear of something that reflects in the body.
3. Specific Phobia: Having a fear of heights, lift, crowd or loud noise.
4. Social Anxiety (Social Phobia): Fear of people or people’s judgements of perception.
5. Separation Phobia: Intense worries about separation from loved ones or divorce.
6. Selective Mutism: Unable to speak at some specific social gatherings, especially being able to talk.
7. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Intense and intrusive obsessive thoughts lead by some compulsive behaviours.
8. Agoraphobia: Where there is thought of not being able to escape or not getting help in trouble.
9. Illness Anxiety Disorder (Hyperchondriac): Where a person has continuous anxiety about getting ill or having bad health.
10. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: One is thinking thought of not facing such trauma again in future.

Why is it important to understand the difference between OCD and Anxiety?

Recognising that OCD is defined by its specific obsessions and compulsions sets it apart from the more general experience of anxiety. This understanding is crucial not just for effective treatment but also for fostering compassion and support for those navigating these challenging mental health conditions.

Understanding the difference between OCD and Anxiety is essential for various reasons:

• Effective Treatment

OCD is generally cured by Exposure and response prevention therapy, while anxiety can be cured by Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, relaxation techniques and improving intrapersonal skills. Also, it can be cured with psychiatric help. Proper diagnosis helps select the right therapeutic path.

• Effective Support

Recognising the specific struggles associated with each disorder can lead to more compassionate and practical support from friends, family, and mental health professionals. Understanding that OCD involves compulsive behaviours can help others provide appropriate encouragement and assistance.

• Fight with Stigma

With Awareness of OCD and Anxiety, one can be clear about what is clinical and what is non-clinical. It is not just the thoughts or overthinking, but it is a serious psychological and emotional breakdown where one needs professional therapy help.

• Enhanced self-awareness and management

Self-awareness is crucial, as we often do not understand what we think, feel, and do. Because in the information era, we are all surrounded by a chaotic environment. Performing all the time is most crucial and needs lots of attention to be effective. Once you understand such issues, it helps in managing yourself, and Awareness helps to manage behaviours and actions.

• Communicate well, somewhat ashamed

Speaking about emotional and psychological issues means you are weak. Still, this taboo is there in society. You can’t be mentally weak, and you always have to show up strong. However, when you are self-aware and communicate effectively about your actions, you will be less judgmental of others and more accepting of them. The other can care for themselves as normally as any other person.

• Realistic Goals settings

Nothing can be achieved if you do not know what you want and why. Once you recognise that you are lacking in something, it causes a lot of issues in daily life and at work, rather than Awareness setting up realistic goals. Non-clarity leads to lots of false hopes and decisions. And eventually drifted apart.

The most important to remember is That Awareness brings clarity, and clarity brings confidence, which in turn brings clear decisions.

Hence, we build communities, institutions, and family structures where like-minded people can gel up and grow together. If we understand Maslow’s theory, after our basic needs, we need social recognition as well. Apart from fear we also need someone to share feelings.

We want to reproduce and pass our legacy to the next generation as well. Above all, we have many needs, such as emotional, psychological, and physical.

Hence relationships are most important for any human to stay healthy with family. Our family gives us validation and recognition. And support which helps us to grow and develop.

Let’s look at the Positive Effects of Relationships on Mental Health.

Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence

80% of the people look for validation from family or loved ones. Validation means they should be recognized, acknowledged or accepted by their loved ones. This validation is a silent acceptance without much interference of whatever they do family is there.

They trust a person, and they love and care for the person’s actions and communications. Only this faith will increase Self-esteem. A financially struggling family has a brilliant son. His father always admires him in whatever he does. He always says,” You do, I am there for you.”

These are not mere words for a son but he got his confidence from those words that even though I fail, even though I might not get the expected results my father always stands behind me. This is how it increases self-trust, self-esteem and self-confidence. A wife who trusts her husband without demeaning him increases his self-esteem.

Reduced Stress and Anxiety

The relationship gives sharing feeling the same way as sharing responsibilities. It is not only the responsibility of one person to run the relationship. But it is an equal distribution of responsibilities and care.

When one feels stressed the other one shares half of the responsibility, which reduces the stress level. Support from loved ones helps to deal with anxiety and fear of the future. By sharing only those negative thoughts one can get faith and hope for his endeavour.

For example, both husband and wife are working. And husband wants to initiate his business and the wife takes financial responsibility for a while may increase the bond in the relationship. Which reduces stress as well as anxiety. One can fulfil his dream while the other one grows and develops in their life. So, it gives mutual growth and development to their lives.

Build Resilience

Differences of opinion, accepting someone’s point of view, and empathy are qualities that can be learnt in tough times. One can also learn flexibility in tough situations, especially when one can’t get the expected results.

Becoming mentally flexible is the key point staying calm and accepting certain factors which are not in control. Unfortunately. we entered the Era in which flexibility is a key problem. As one wants a problem-free life, one wants not to have hot discussions, there is an idea that we call always a happy-happy life is becoming a strong belief in the human mindset.

Due to these beliefs relationships are not working. Eventually, each of us blames others but there is hardly any way to resolve the same. Resilience builds a calm personality. Also, one can be steady and cool temperament in tough times. Relationships teach a person to accept other’s limitations and weaknesses. It also helps to understand true self and others as well.

Give Validation to Your Identity

“Who will cry when you die?” This is not just the title of a book. But if you understand it deeply you can find these words very helpful. Every one of us is trying to do something or other things for someone or society. Not everybody is getting a chance to become famous. But if you do good with your spouse and children they will cry. They miss the shelter.

We get validation from our family. Our family identifies us and gives recognition. Just imagine if you are all alone and no one is there to acknowledge your emotions how do you feel? No one is there for you to care and love how scary it is. That is why we fall in love and we give commitments.

You inspire and motivate because you want to do things for your family and your loved ones. They validate you. Because they love you and care for you. And they are the only people who cry when you die. And so relationships give validation to our identity.

Get a Sense of Support and Love

Love is everything. It gives you acceptance and helps you to stay steady in tough times. If you can see everything surrounding you is because of love. Even your existence is proof of love. So nothing is possible without Love in this world.

A relationship is a sense of support and love. Also, relationship helps you to grow your life in terms of material aspects. You want to do a lot for yourself and your family. You want to do more for your loved one and enjoy your life with peace and calm. A relationship is everything to a human being and it affects immensely on mental health.

Negative Effects of Relationship on Mental Health

Increased Insecurities

Love is an unconditional emotion. But is unconditional love possible? As soon as we have entered into relationships we have lots of expectations with each other. We try to boast or dominate the other person because we want to fulfil our expectations.

Every one of us becomes unhappy if the other person is unable to fulfil our desires or meet our expectations. All differences of opinion started which resulted in ugly fights. Which increases the insecurities of both the people in a relationship.

Because they always become anxious about being left out or abandoned by the other. They fear loneliness which often results in people pleasing or dishonesty with self. Insecurities also increased infidelity issues within the partners.

So leaving each other or fear of separation aggravates insecurities in one’s mind. Out of insecurities one is continuously dominant or becomes submissive emotionally. Which resulted in anxiety, depression, stress and overthinking issues.

Questioned on one’s Identity

Relationships strengthen each other’s identity. But in many cases, one feels demeaning as another person may have a superiority complex, envy or jealousy, different upbringing and understanding, different family background, financial and lifestyle differences, different likings and dislikes etc.

In such cases, one is not ready to accept the other one or try to dominate to accept one’s choice. This is an individual perspective to adapt to the change or not. The other one may feel the partner is demeaning or putting down in terms of his values.

Due to that to accommodate one has to change the persona to adjust in the relationships. But in many cases that change creates a vacuum. This vacuum creates lots of questions about self-identity, personality and confidence.

If the nature of the person is submissive or has the belief of people’s perceptions they adapt the idea to live as per other’s expectations. Which increases more stress in relationship.

Increased Stress and Worries

Daily conflicts in relationships cause lots of stress and worries. It builds us worries about losing loved one, leaving by someone, demeaning and changing of identity. When a relationship works inappropriately that time stress is a common feeling one can feel.

Which increases anxiety of what next. The relationship builds a man strong but simultaneously vulnerable also. Because it affects core emotions.

To prove oneself is becoming part of life and one gets tired of doing so. Positive stress always give growth and motivation but negative stress always gives worries, overthinking and fear. When relationship does not turn to good bond between two people it creates havoc.

It hampered intimacy and Bond

People who have failed relationships or marriages have trust issues. As they don’t want to face the same situation again. Due to that having intimacy with other human beings is tough for them. Their defence mechanism is more aggressive.

They become aggressive in saving themselves rather than building a bond. People with tough relationship issues have a hard time with interpersonal relationships. They trust themselves less and they always feel under confident.

Trust and bonds always make a person feel free from inside and the freedom to choose self over others makes a person more confident.

Raised Self-Doubts

Validation and recognition both are the most important part of any human being’s life. When relationships create daily conflicts and if one loses self in it then self-doubts become stronger. In couples feeling each other down or demeaning raised self-doubts.

Self-doubt is an extremely negative feeling with self-negative talk. As much as a person loses himself in negative self-talk a person may feel depressed and anxious which also invites other mental health problems.

How various Therapies help in Relationship

Couple Counselling

Couple counselling helps a lot to build intrapersonal relationships. It also works on interpersonal relationships as well. In couple counselling, couples learns about communication, their limitations, weaknesses and qualities.

Counselling sessions help to draw clear picture of weak area of relationship. Working on that weak area helps to boost up both couple to enjoy each other’s company. Couple therapy helps to build intimate relationship by trying to see how to accommodate with each other.

Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotions need to be understood by each partner in a relationship. Emotional focused therapy helps to learn about empathy, active listening, and becoming more judgemental and clear in communication. It also helps to understand each other’s emotions and judgements. It clears judgments and makes relationship more strong.

Imago Relationship Therapy

Heal the past wounds are more important in relationships. Unsolved problems cause more problem in present life as beliefs of each partner has not yet change. Assumptions also create a lots of problem in relationships which can be cured by this therapy.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT)

Cognitive means how you interpret, analyse and understand any given information. In relationship manytimes there is problem of interpretation. Which is being identified by a person by putting labels on self or thers. CBT works so well in relationships as it works on the confirmation biases and negative biases in relationships.

Family Therapy

Social structure also matters when it comes to relationships. Family plays a very important role because each family has their own values, customs and rituals to follow. Many couples are facing major relationship issues due to family structure.

Family therapy helps to understand each other’s expectations, limitations and desires. It improves interpersonal relationships which helps to build a strong bond.

Discernment Counselling

These counselling sessions are for couples who are at the edge of divorce or separation. This counselling is more specific towards the problems and resolution of that. Couples gain more clarity about the requirements of the relationships if they want to run the relationships.

Attachment Therapy

Couples understand more about their attachments towards the other proportions of their life. They learn to adapt and accommodate with that which grows the relationship stronger. Relationships play a major role in everyone’s life. It strengthens also and makes oneself vulnerable as well. For more details about relationship counselling or marriage counselling contact us.

To meet someone for mental health means either you are crazy or weak. But what if we all need help while everything arises mentally but not physically? Why can’t we think that as our body ills our brain also? So what is wrong with seeing someone and seeking help for emotional and mental health problems?

We all forget one thing 80% of our mind takes control of our body, actions, communications and everything. Only 20%of  physical body involvement is there. So if some challenging emotions and thoughts disturb you, what is wrong with seeking help? Let’s understand this first.

When should you see a psychologist?

It is sometimes too hard to figure out whether you need professional help or if you can talk to your family or friends can solve your problem. In 80% of the problems you know which actions and communications help you to solve your problem but there is fear of the unknown.

Because your mind raises lots of anxious and negative thoughts about the unknown. One thing that is important for you to learn is that our mind works on the survival mechanism. Hence we all have a fear of the unknown. There are various reasons behind not being able to think positively or to take positive actions:

1) Fear of the Unknown (What will happen in future?)

2) Habitual cycle (Automicity)

3) Hard work (Change is hard.)

4) Non-acceptance

5) Why me? (Victimisation)

Apart from the above reasons there are various other reasons as well. It always varies based on the situation. Also, one needs to be conscious about his actions, feelings and thoughts. These are complicated things to follow and to be in to present state.

But when you learn to be mindful according to Dialectal Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and through continuous practice you can develop a present state of mind. There are various other factors also you need to consider which are the clear signs to see a psychologist.

1) When you are facing mood swings(depressive), anxious or overwhelmed.

It is normal when you feel depressed but when you face this disturbance for more than 2 weeks with at least five symptoms of depression based on DSM-5 then it is diagnosed as a Depressive Disorder. As we become faster in our lives.

Of course, we lost control of our consciousness. Due to that many people are unable to synchronise between their thoughts, emotions and actions. External factors take charge of your mind and then all become autonomous. Your moods depend on your external factors and due to that, you lose self-control.

This also builds a lack of self-confidence, over-dependency on others, and over-expectations but with a lack of ownership. You build your negative thoughts and become judgemental about lots of things. Assumptions are one of the phases where you do not clarify but reach to conclusion fast. Due to that, you are unable to take the right steps in your life.

Wrong decisions bring lots of other troubles in your life. And you feel nothing is working better. Nothing wrong if you are feeling this state of mind. But it is important to overcome it. Your Amygdala plays a major role in regulating your emotions.

Depression is very common and even feeling anxiety is also very natural. But if you do not take it seriously it creates lots of hassle and mess in your day-to-day functioning. Talk therapies are just not talking or sharing your emotions.

But it is about regulating them and channelise them in the better direction. We all made lots of mistakes in our lives. We also learnt that the major crux is how you have to manage your mind and train it.

2) When you are feeling you have eating disorders or a disturbing sleeping cycle.

Our senses play a major role in controlling our emotions. Because many people eat too much or very little when they have mood swings issues. Or in case of stress as well they overdose themselves with food. Food and sleep patterns will tell you a lot about your emotions.

Your emotions directly affect your breathing and your blood sugar. Many times after stressful events you feel exhausted and your body feels there is no energy. To overcome you used to take food or any of the vices to balance your emotions.

Sleep disturbance is common which we call insomnia or hypersomnia. Both are in a ways neurological as well as psychological disorders. But most people build this due to overthinking, restlessness, stress, depression and physical illness as well.  Overthinking played a major role in this.

3) When you feel your emotions are not controlled or you cannot transform the same.

Crying or having anger shows that there is no control over feelings. The mind tells you that whatever it thinks is happening to you. And you become vulnerable towards your emotions. The majority of the people do not understand what they are supposed to do in this scenario.

They just sit ideal and feel of not waking up. They do not want to take charge of their lives and wait for some miracle to happen. This is a real scenario of emotional dysregulation. It is of course hard to work on the thoughts and feelings.

Overcoming this state of mind is again so much more difficult. But when you take therapy sessions and understand your problem you can work on yourself. With the slow and steady process, you can overcome your state of mind. Remember one thing your mind has plasticity. We can train it whenever we want.

4) When you see you lose interest from your friends and family.

Losing interest in your interested tasks or hobbies are clear sign of depression. Losing interest means you think negatively that everything is meaningless. You feel what makes a difference even if I do or do not do. This is creating lots of problems in your day-to-day life.

When you can assess that you are losing interest in your hobbies or interesting things you were earlier interested in doing then it is advisable to meet a psychologist or psychiatrist.

5) When you going through a rough phase of your life and you find yourself directionless.

Stress builds up when you find yourself directionless. You might have achieved a lot in your life. You might be satisfied with those things which you do. But it may be possible that you find yourself directionless. You find where to go and why? This is not called some psychological disorder but it is called an emotional problem. Many therapies help in curing this state of mind.

CBT, DBT, Psychodynamic Therapy, Interpersonal Psychotherapy, Humanistic Therapy, Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy(ACT) and Exposure Therapy help in regulating emotions. Also, it helps you to go to the right direction of channelling emotions.

6) Past traumas and stress related to that build more emotional burden.

Trauma becomes stressful when you think over it again and again. When you do not accept your trauma like financial losses, divorce, separation, or loss of a loved one it creates stress.

Post Traumatic Disorder is divided into four clusters as per DSM -5. Intrusion, avoidance, negative cognitions and moods and arousal. If one is facing this stress related to trauma for more than one month with PTSD symptoms then it is considered to be a disorder.

In this phase, one can’t be deattached from the event that has happened. It requires lots of effort to regulate that stress. Cognitive Process Therapy (CPT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Prolonged Exposure therapies proved to be the best therapies working on PTSD. 

7) Relationship Issues and family problems.

Relationship and family issues are not uncommon. It is hard for parents to understand kids and vice-versa. The same is also applicable to couples as well. A happily married couple nowadays end up divorced in small matters. As none wants to adjust. Over expectations and external orientation dropped emotional bank balances.

There are more bad memories than good memories. Separation, divorces and lack of adaptability have ruined so many lives in the last many decades. As we got more exposure to those fake worlds of entertainment it blasted real-life scenarios.

Social media also played a bigger role but it is all up to us how we can use these platforms. It is free but in a way, it is not. It costs you too much in terms of your mental health, relationship, productivity and your consciousness.

There is a major effect on your social life. Because one stares at the screen like a zombie and is not even ready to pay attention to what is going on? We slowly lost social communication and exposure hence we are afraid of people. What people think about me and how they perceive me matters a lot rather than being natural in social structure.

This has created lots of social anxiety and many kids and adults decided not to be socialised, ultimately loneliness turns into anxiety, stress and depression. We all need to remember once again that this world is to live a good life and pursue the ultimate goal of self-realisation.

But now it becomes a pressure cooker. We all are feeling so much pressure and ultimately we want to find happiness in the external world. We all forget to look within. 

8) Problems in business or profession which bring a lot of negativity about yourself.

“What if?” is a big question when you think of your future. When your attention is more on results rather having on actions. If you are completely attached to your results how would you act and communicate? How would you perform when you have a fear of failure and people’s perseverance? We all forget that life comes with the seasons.

All seasons are not the same as usual. But we forget to accept that. Also, success, name and fame are the only seasons we taught in our childhood. Money matters but we did not learn that only money is not everything. Profession and business come with its season but we want to keep going for a lofty desire.

This creates lots of stress about perfection, and anxiety about the future and a small downfall creates depression. All these can be manageable if we learn to be resilient and more acceptable. Working on more is not important but rather important is to be qualitative. There are so many misconceptions about professions and business. People in the major areas of business and profession need to take the support of psychologists to grow their substantial goals.

How a Psychologist help you in this?

Unless you do not understand your problem you are unable to work on the same. Periodically taking the help of your psychologist brings more clarity to your life. Same way when you have more clarity you are more confident.

A psychologist helps you work on the weak areas of your thought pattern and conceptual cycle. CBT is one of the proven therapies which help many people to overcome their issues. Unless you do not know what troubles you, you cannot get solutions.

Unless you do not understand yourself you can’t make others understand. So psychologist helps you to bring back your consciousness. Cognition is one of the complex things but through psychology only you can understand your tendency.

A psychologist brings lots of clarity and makes you able to understand certain emotions. Acceptance, resilience and change can be possible through therapies. There is no quick fix to it. One needs to work with the support of a professional to bring back happiness, clarity, positivity, acceptance and many more.

Which in turn resulted in frustration lack of confidence and low self-esteem. How a Relationship counsellor or a psychologist helps you to establish communication in your Relationship. Currently, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy has proven to be the best therapy to cure many problems of human cognition. Be it any emotional issues or psychological disturbance CBT proves best.

According to CBT Why are we afraid to tell the Truth?

How we perceive, analyse, interpret, understand and memorise the given information. We perceive, analyse, interpret and communicate any information based on our core beliefs. And we may be wrong if our core beliefs are wrong about ourselves, others and the world. So most important is to work on what you believe.

CBT helps to find out your core beliefs about yourself. Based on the beliefs we all decide to act and communicate. Most human beings have a problem with what others are perceiving and fear being judged. Simultaneously in a close relationship, everyone is connected emotionally and no one wants to hurt others to whom they love the most. Which creates lots of hassle in day-to-day life and turns into repression of feelings.

CBT is one of the scientific therapies which helps you to overcome your fearful beliefs. Telling the Truth is one of the crucial things because we may feel hesitant in telling what we feel and why. We do not want others to be hurt and we become disloyal to ourselves. As mentioned earlier our basic core beliefs about ourselves and others decide what and how we want to communicate. Below are some of the assessing areas where you can do a self-assessment about your communication in a Relationship.

1) Do you think about what others feel before you give your opinion?

Yes

No

2) Are you afraid of putting your point in front of your partner in fear of a hot discussion?

Yes

No

3) Do you speak or act the way others want you to do?

Yes

No

4) Do you avoid hard communication at your home or your workplace?

Yes

No

5) You avoid communication because you have low self-esteem or lack of confidence.

Yes

No

If you assess your communication skills then you may find what causes a real problem. CBT helps you improve your thought process and emotionality with your behavioural changes. Behavioural changes can only be possible once you understand your cognitivity. Let’s understand more about communication.

How does CBT help you to change your thoughts?

Many people are curious to know from where we get thoughts. What comes first thoughts or feelings? Can we consciously think about all thoughts? Brain functioning is a complex activity. Even after much research has been done still many cognitive psychologists unable to find many answers about how and what the brain functions.

Based on our beliefs we have many templates through which we try to perceive new information and match it with the old one. We also perceive information in the Top-Down and Bottom-Up ways. But most important is to understand how we can change our thinking patterns. CBT helps you to change your behavioural pattern which eventually works on your thoughts and feelings. Directly working on the thinking pattern may not help much to solve any problem.

However, changing the behavioural patterns may help to change thoughts and feelings. Communication is one of the behavioural patterns which one can change and get his beliefs changed. But before we change our behaviour we think of the outcome. Most of the time we fail to change the behaviour. We even know how much it benefits but still, we have a fear of the unknown. CBT helps you to understand your core areas of problem and by changing them you can attain maximum benefits.

Various Techniques to Improve Your Communication in Relationship

1) Detachment with the Outcome

Healthy communication can be possible once you detach from the outcomes like what others may think, how they perceive, what if they hurt etc etc. There are other reasons as well for non-communication in Relationships especially when a person suffers from the Imposter syndrome, having a lack of self-esteem and PTSD. But if you detach what will come next and just communicate you can think in the direction of a solution, not a problem. When any one of us is attached to the outcome we majorly become negative because we manifest those thoughts which may be true but we are always in a position to change them.

2) Compromise and Negotiation

While communicating in the work environment compromising and negotiation matters a lot. Before any communication, if you can figure out your points what you can compromise on and negotiate with can make you more confident. We fear of unknown and uncertain. But what if we calculate the point of compromise and negotiation? Rather than flight from an important communication one can jotted mental notes of the compromising points.

3) Stop Prediction and mind reading.

Mind reading is a very bad idea even if you experienced the same results earlier. Because when any one of us tries to do mind reading we try to assume. And in assumptions many such issues arise that other people may not even think of it. Open-ended questions always help to understand the other person rather than judge a person based on his tenacity and usage of the words. Predictions and assumptions create lots of issues and need to be resolved by asking questions.

4) Difference of Opinion

It is hard to communicate when there is a difference of opinion. It is important to understand the acceptable and unacceptable points of the relationship. Also, it is more important to understand the expectations one carries in mind about the relationship and the actual relationship. Once you understand the hard time to accept other’s points of view you can introspect upon your unacceptable points and expectations. make a list of both and then try to understand why you accept the same. And in case of non-acceptance, how can you communicate?

5) Stop Personalisation.

To establish healthy communication it is important to talk without giving statements or labels to your partner or family. Every one of us feels offended when there is a personalised comment. But if you can stick to the problem and get things done with the modification of the behaviours then your communication turns into a healthy relationship.

6) Establish Understanding.

Understanding someone is not that easy. But if you understand your beliefs then it would be easier to understand someone’s beliefs. You have certain set standards and expectations same way the other person has. If you can give space to understand other people communication becomes more healthy without labelling someone.

7) Being more Empathetic

It is hard to be empathetic when someone is dominant. But remember one thing once you accept change is possible. But if you resist then change is not possible. So try to be empathetic and a good listener. Try to understand other’s point of view and his way of thinking. Because relationships established between the people who are differently brought up. So it is obvious to have different understandings and beliefs. Being more empathetic does not mean being submissive but be it confidently accepting a nonaccepting and then changing it slowly.

CBT works so profoundly in Relationships and communication. For further details you may visit my Instagram Id which helps you to understand more about communication.

WHAT IS COGNITIVE DISTORTION?

Cognitive distortion means biased or irrational thoughts about something or someone, where a person may not get a factual view of a person, situation, or experience. This cognitive distortion creates lots of hassle, which affects mental health. A person may face anxiety, negative thought patterns, stress, depressive or sad mood, mood swings and overthinking, trust issues, etc.

Cognitive distortion create thought pattern like I am not adequate, good or I am bad. This pattern is also take another information as this world is tough to survive or if one thinks of money means he is bad person etc. These are the distortion which hides the facts and generalised any situation in all or nothing. Cognitive distortion are always not harmful but overthinking of them with distortion create lots of thought trouble.

WHAT CAUSES A NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERN?

There are several factors that cause a negative thought pattern. But some of them are very important to understand as they affect your life regularly. Meanwhile, those factors are mostly uncontrolled as they are external factors. Negative thoughts are forming from survival and fighting.

We have been through a lot of stories of human survival and fights. So, it completely differs from person to person how one can form a negative thought patter.

Socio-Psycho Environment:

It is completely an external factor where one can not have control over social factors. As we can’t choose our parents and kids. We can’t select our family. So it is one of the most important factors in which environment you are living.

Peer pressure, social structure, financial background and culture at home majorly develop one’s thinking pattern. Too much controlling environment and carrot and stick upbringing are responsible for developing a negative thought pattern.

Traumatic Experience:

People who experienced broken marriages of parents or parents fights over and over, separation or divorce from a loved one, accidents and health, long illness etc are traumatic situations for any person. Such experiences force a person to think negatively first. Such situations also create lots of cognitive distortion. Such people also may face an issue with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD).

Mental Health:

Environment plays a major role in anyone’s life. However mental health has an equivalent role to play in negative thoughts. Long periods of mood swings, depression, anxiety and stress create negative thought patterns. A person is vulnerable to his beliefs and emotions. Many times they act out of their feelings causing more negativity.

Set High Expectations:

When you set high standards without knowing your capacity or capability creates lots of negative thoughts. As you develop self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy and achieving superficial goals where you become inactive. You may develop a negative overthinking pattern and be unable to take any action as you are attached to your outcome.

Diet and Health:

If you are deprived of Vitamin B12, D3, B1, B6, and B9 then it affects your thought pattern.

WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN NEGATIVE THINKING AND DEPRESSION?

You know depression. Depression is typically a mental disorder where one finds oneself helpless, hopeless and sad even on a good day. Depression and negative thoughts work like a circle. It is like what comes first? Hen or Egg. So once the mind becomes like Chakravyuh.

When you are negative about anything in your life, your feelings are sad, annoyed, angry, frustrated, and depressed. You can feel more stress than actual. You are neglecting all facts, and your mind tells you all or nothing. You also overgeneralize, and most of the time, you cut back on important and positive information. It gives you more sad emotions than you ever felt.

When someone feels depressed they feel not to come out of bed. Because they feel worthless in everything, they try to avoid certain things that make them stronger but avoid it. They try to find excuses or overthink and find negative points as excuses for not doing. So negative thoughts and depression are cyclical.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERN?

It is important to understand types of negative thought pattern. What happened to your mind when you think negative about anything. As mentioned earlier our mind works on survival mechanism. But excessive negative thinking creates lots of mental health issues.

All Or Nothing Thinking:

People who are thinking All Or Nothing means black and white or failure and success. They eliminate lots of information especially in problematic situation. It is hard for them to solve problem or to see other options while facing challenges. They will see things like, “Success would be possible if I am perfectionist.” They discounted lots of information and lose the chunk of their information.

Emotions And Reasoning:

People with the negative thought pattern many times rationally think about their emotions. In the situation of anxiety, depression or stress they think they should not take an action. Rather they avoid taking important steps. Say, “I am anxious to speak with the others so let me avoid communication.” They try to give reasons to their emotions.

Overgeneralisation:

People with negative thought pattern overgeneralised most of the information. They consider small mistake as a big fault. They buried themselves in to the thinking of good at nothing or stupid as they make small mistakes.

Putting Statements:

When one cannot see things as naturally without judgments they see only those they want to see or feel. In negative thoughts pattern people make a lots of statements. In simple way put labels like ,”I am this….,I am that….” Eventually  they start with the negative self-talk. Small fall is big failure for them.

Reaching To Conclusion:

As they are not capable to solve the problem they reach to conclusion like this is only going to happen. Say if they see an accident they reach to conclusion that a passengers in the car demised before they take any concrete actions.

Filter And Identification:

People when think negative have filtration of the bad side of the situation. They play victim card and identified that bad side of the situation with themselves. They try to see things only as bad happened to them. But they do not want to see or not realised to see good side of that situation as well.

Prediction Or Fortune Telling:

Negative thought pattern create lots of judgements. Based in the assumptions a person may predict this is only going to happen. Or they predict the fortune tells about the future. They also tendency to read mind of the other people.

Magnifying Or Catastrophic:

Either magnify the information. So minutely observed the information which is not required. Or Catastrophic that also analyse on the large scale also create lots of trouble.

Complete Or No Control:

People with Negative Thought patter either try to control the situation or they left having no control. In this case they really lose relationship, good opportunities or mental health.

Self Blame:

People blame self a lot when they think negative. As they overgeneralised and filtered most of the information they do not consider other facts. They blame self so easily as if they only responsible for everything. In such thought pattern they have lots of “should” and “must”. They force self to accomplish certain tasks even if it is of no control.

Mistaken Beliefs:

People with negative thinking assume about situation, people and outcomes. They most of the time have mistaken belief through which they see or analyse the information. Based on the Wrong beliefs they really take half information and act upon that.

BREAK YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERN THROUGH THERAPY

Now, there is no question whether therapies are effective or not. As it helps in curing lots of mental disturbance. One can also take a help of Psychologist to overcome Negative thought pattern. Cognitive Behaviours Therapy proves best results in this kind of thought pattern.

As we build negative thought pattern due to social-cognitive schema. Where by working on the blockage and understanding the real scenario helps a person to overcome negative thought pattern. Apart from talk therapy there are various other ways to deal with negative thought pattern.

1) Keep Negative Thought Journal where you can check it with the fact sheet on timely basis.

2) Give Balance thought. This is wonderful exercise which will improve your cognitive to perceive any information in details without deleting or discounting it.

3 Improve Self Talk. Most of the people really do not know what they talk to self. They really are not conscious enough about their thoughts and leads to wrong decisions and behaviours.

4) Be Honest with yourself

5) Make a fact sheet. Regularly or in interval check your fact sheet. Because once you develop such habit to check with the facts your negative thought pattern breaks.

6) Avoid Negative News and Social Media.

7) Breathing Exercise helps a lot to deal with your thinking pattern.

8) See a professional help. It is not harmful to take therapy. Because when you take therapy sessions you learn lot about yourself your life and situation you faced.

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